kuch kar dikhana hain.

Just skimmed through this book by Bertrand Russell.
'The conquest of happiness'.

A fable in that book.
Long long time ago, a very mighty and able king ruled over a kingdom.
The province loved him, he loved his people.
Happy and prosperous.
But there was a kink in the story.In spite of all the success,money and goodwill, the king was not happy. Something was missing. He kept wondering, if he after having literally everything that anyone can crave for, can't be happy, then who on this face of earth is happy?
He sends his son in search of a man who is happy in the truest sense and tells him to get his shirt for him. The son, obedient and loyal, sets out on a search. He asks renowned artists, brave soldiers, wealthy businessmen, almost everyone he could think of. But no success. Everyone thinks The King must obviously be happier than them. All frustrated and exhausted the boy wearily walks up to the foot of a hill to seek some shade. There he finds this old man, singing merrily, playing with a beaming white cat, engrossed in his own world. He asks the boy if he needed any help. The boy tells him his problem. As if in the same breath, the guy replies," I definitely think i am happier than the king". The boy gets offended by his bold and unashamed answer. Asks him a series of questions, only to find out that the guy actually has no worries, no fears. He just enjoys the small lil intricate bounties of beauty the nature has to offer everyday. The boy all ecstatic, thinks of the promise he has made to his dad, only to realize that the happiest man in the kingdom doesn't have a shirt.

I believe there are two different kinds of people.
Firstly, who believe in dreaming big and making it big.
Secondly, who lead a simple, balanced life, without ever worrying about or striving for success or fame, which have now become synonymous to a happy life.

Everyone is made to think that they are born with a purpose. That they have to prove their skills, their abilities to people around them.That they have to be successful.Success mostly being fame, recognition, money.
Kuch kar dikhana hain! Although, I always wonder, its really not the other people around who are to endorse your abilities.

Recently watched movie, Tare Zameen Par, says every child is special. Everyone is special in his/her own way. But I always think, the child need not always be a brilliant painter like Van Gogh, he need not always be someone like Einstein. Not everyone needs to make it big. People who make it big are not the only ones, who lead a fulfilling life. Isshan, the little boy in the movie, was very happy even before he realizes that he is a painter with an amazing talent. He just enjoys simple things in nature, gets amused by the painter who climbs up the bamboo mesh and paints an apartment. He is sensitive towards simple life forms around him, insects, fish, toads, bugs, trees to cite a few. Doesn't that carry any credit?

This reminds me of Mr and Mrs Kulkarni( kulkarni kaka kaku) who live in our neighborhood. Kulkarni kaka has a keen interest in languages, always tries to learn new languages, relate them all together. He plays cricket with kids in our colony, likes cooking. Kulkarni kaku plays small roles in Marathi plays. She says it gives her a kick! She likes reading economics, finance and likes to tutor children who have just started earning and need help in money management. Both of them have not made it big according to any yardsticks laid by common people. Hardly anyone knows them. They dont have a special identity, especially in the infinite pool of Kulkarni's in Maharashtra.They still lead a very contented and a happy life. I dont think they must have ever thought, 'kuch kar dikhana hain'. I dont think they ever felt they could have done much better in life. Although everyone knows that they could have done much more than this. I am not sure it would have been much better though.

Gautam Buddha also said something similar, he retired from his life as a king and lead a simple life,enlightening other people. Telling them the key to a happy life, ashtnagamarga.

I am not against dreamers.
Nor am i against people who make it big.
They undoubtedly have unparallel abilities, we all owe a lot to all such pioneers, discoverers.
I am not saying you should not dream big. It will be an utter foolishness to say that.
But here I am, just trying to protect the other parallel thinking stream which coexists and which seems to have lost its due importance.

If happiness is the final goal in life, and if one is going to be left equally content, following either of the ways, can you really think of one way as superior to the other one?

Coming to the literal meaning of dreaming, I remember reading in Morrison and Boyd that the aromatic structure of benzene was thought of when the guy(whoever he was) was dreaming, actually dozing off.

Well, let people who make it big, dream big. Its a wonderful thing. Let them dream about significant discoveries or trend setting ideas and business plans.
But at the same time, let other people dream of Deepika Padukone, if that's what makes them happy!

Big mouth

Life is beautiful.
Its not all the big-shots, big success stories that always attract me.
Its rather the small, seemingly insignificant little things, which fascinate me the most. Size does not always matter, you know ;)
Its very interesting how the smallest of things can make me ponder the most.

Now this sequence of events i am going to tell you about, the events being really small and routine. But its consequence was really big. I started blogging after that.

This scene in the movie: Amelie.
Amelie's friend: Haste is ...
A guy: waste.
Amelie's friend: A stitch in time...
The guy: saves nine.
Amelie's friend: Blood is thicker than...
The guy: water.
The friend:A bad workman...
The guy: blames his tools..
The friend: Aah cool, I know you like Amelie and she likes you too.But I really care for her. My mom always said, one who knows idioms can't be all that bad.
You have passed my test. I was just making sure you are not a bad choice!

I always liked this scene.Countless number of times i must have seen this movie, and watched this scene once more. The simplicity attracts me. The simple and true love for a friend and simpler ways of judging people! May be I am so complex, that these scenes immediately touch my heart.

Event two: I was just sifting through some books on this old rustic bookshelf that we have and i found this book. "Fifth edition: English idioms- Jennifer Seidi. Oxford publications". No need to say, I picked it up. Struggled my way out of the huge pile of books i had taken out and had "planned" on reading, went and sat on our sofa. Realized that the book is damn interesting. Found these pencil tick marks in the margin near some idioms. No need to say again, I started reading only those which were marked.This habit of mine of studying for only a week before the exams,or may be less, hurts. Just read through the "starred" paragraphs, thanks to our sincere seniors.So.. I just read this phrase 'Big mouth:someone who boasts,exaggerates, makes promises he/she doesn't keep etc."

Event three:Well, so many things happened in that day afterwards; small,big. But there was one thing that made me feel its presence all day. Like background noise.Or may be that was the clearest sound of all. I kept pondering over the idiom.

Am I really a big mouth?

Yes, why did it take me so long to come to a conclusion, I don't know. But yes, I am. If not a big mouth,i am definitely a blabber mouth.

I can think of so many incidences, so many conversations, so many random statements I might have overheard, so many serious discussions..
They prove it all.
To cite of a few of these random conversations,
Friend1: Are you going for mood i?
Me: No re. Mom won't allow me.
Friend1: Aah, good in a way. Nahin to tu muzhe har evening aake batati, maine mood i mein ye kiya, woh kiya!

Me:Hey friend2! I am going to wear a sari in my bro's wedding.
friend2: Aah come on Abha, you have told me about so many things in the past. You never keep your word. Remember you were going to sing on The Big Break? And you had told me you were going to wear a sari in Ganesh Chaturthi culturals?And that you were going to learn web designing? And that you were going to get a ten this sem?(well yeah, I know i am a born nerd. I seriously don't mind getting a ten you know! ;)) Well you know, you did neither of these things. Its the usual thing now.

Hehe..
I talk a lot.
I really talk a lot.
I talk about things necessary, things utterly unnecessary at the same.

So what did I ponder about? What was I worrying about? That i talk a lot?
well yeah..

So I decided, I will talk less. All the extra talking cut to the bone.
I don't hate people. I like people. I really like talking. I really like aimless talks.
So,It is a very difficult decision you know.

Now this mouna vrata of mine did not last long. Flood of words in my mouth. Had to gulp them all down, faster than water. I had to tell mom about the new cat I found, about how I tricked my computer teacher, about how I put extra sugar in my milk( geez!).. But I really had to control. I had decided i will use only minimal sentences. Ones, absolutely necessary. Why? well I don't know. I had just decided i will do that. And let me tell you, those six hours that i spent,without talking, taught me a lot.

I started observing people. Really carefully. Without them realizing that obviously. I noticed how my mom pouts her lips when she is thinking over something. How nirmala, our maid, scratches her neck while talking.. How my brother always fiddles with a pencil or a telephone chord or anything approachable when he talks. That my grandpa loves talking too. And my grandma chooses her words very carefully. Will take me ages to complete one statement if I start doing that. How hasty i am while talking, feels like these words are pushing each other away and making way for themselves, exactly the way people push each other in Bbay locals. And my dad talks really less. Cant even talk when it is absolutely necessary. And how my mom loves talking. And how she gets frustrated when she has noone to talk to. How this girl in Coorg had won our hearts, by her sweet and innocent talking.

Remeber this song? "sardi khasi ya malaria hua, muzhko laveria hua!"
well I would say, "muzhko wordaria hua!"

someone stop me! I am back to talking useless stuff again.

So coming back to the point, I talk about people, sometimes I talk about the worthless gossip to my neighbours, sometimes i talk about stuff i would do in future, sometimes i exaggerate, sometimes i overexaggerate. Sometimes, I promise people something, something i know i might not do. But still i tell them. Sometimes i talk about things I want to do, I may do, I should do. Or very few times things I do. All the gossip and the rumors are the outcome of this very habit of all of us.We talk what is not necessary.We talk when its not necessary. I talk on gtalk, I talk on orkut, I talk on the phone(really cheap calling rates you know), I knock on my friend's door and go to talk to her in her room for hours long. My friend says, girls like to socialize a lot..

Now comes the question, why do we all talk so much?

Is it because we want other people to think high of ourselves? Is it because when we talk ill of other people, we just feel better about ourself? Or when I know i cant do something,and i still talk about it,is it just a false promise made to myself? As the Sanskrit saying goes mukhamasteeti vaktavyam..

Talking is useful sometimes. In a way, talking is a wonderful thing..(oh, I am a confused lil creature!) To clear our thoughts. Communicate. As the new Airtel ad says, talking removes barriers brings people closer. Creates this beautiful bond between people.There have been so many amazing scientific and philosophical theories born in talks over coffee. I will always cherish those long pointless talks in nescafe.. Nothing against talking. Just that something has to be done to stop the countless unnecessary words, sentences we talk for countless number of hours.Talking is an epidemic! May be an alarm going teeeeek when i am talking useless stuff. We always laugh at this habit of British people for talking very less. May be its time we inculcate the habit too.

As Gandhiji said, Zen Buddism said, words are like shining stars. Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket and save it for a rainy day!

I still love talking. Cant stop talking even after i have written sooooo much. Par bolne mein kya jata hain?!